10 lessons I learned from infertility.
10 lessons I learned from infertility which also happen to be 10 tips that you can adopt right now to help you take control of your fertility journey.
Accept what is – The first step to taking control of your infertility (whether it is you or your partner’s issue) is acceptance. No one wins if you blame your partner or yourself. Accept what is and chose to take control and be empowered in your situation.
Advocate for yourself- You are a bio-individual. No one is exactly like you and you know you’re yourself better than anyone. Do your own research and don’t let other people influence your decisions. Speak up and ask questions and only do what you are comfortable with. Trust your gut and do what is right for you.
Have a strong Support group—You can’t go through this alone. Whether you chose to join an app like peanut, or confide in your best friend or family and/or coach, you will need to reach out to someone for support during the emotional ups and downs of your infertility journey (separate from your partner).
Practice gratitude- Being grateful for the simple things in life reminds you of what is truly important in life and how to live in the now. It takes you out of the end goal and into embracing the journey. Journaling 3 things at the start of the day and 3 things at the end of the day helped me to stay grounded and in the present moment.
Explore your spirituality -This doesn’t have to mean organized religion. Meditating daily or practicing yoga are both forms of spirituality and will provide you with the inner strength you need to face adversity and prosper within the world of infertility (as well as other aspects of life).
Live in the present moment – Find happiness in the small things. Bring joy into your life daily by paying attention to things that bring you joy and make an effort to do them. Listen to your favorite podcast while you fold laundry or dance while you cook. Listen to music. Make yourself laugh by watching a short youtube clip of your favorite comedian, or take a walk outside in nature. It is in the mundane tasks that we do daily that we can find joy in! Detach from the mindset, “I’ll be happy when I get pregnant” and lumping everything into this outcome. Practice gratitude for what you have now and embrace this current moment.
Use a Positive Mindset- Post your favorite affirmations on your mirror or in a place you will see, and practice saying them daily. This will keep you from revisiting the negative thoughts that can so easily take over our minds. For me, it was “ I will be the best Mommy” and “I am taking control of my fertility.” But you can find ones that work for you like “My Body is fertile and ready to conceive” Or “I am taking care of my body and mind in order to welcome a baby.”
Move your body- Make sure you can move your body daily in a way that makes you feel good. Find the activity that works for you that doesn’t feel like exercise. This could be signing up for a dance class, yoga, running or walking every day while listening to your favorite podcast. This will help to release endorphins so you can feel your best every day.
Love yourself & show it through self-care - Bottom line, you deserve it. You really are worth it. Getting ample sleep, regular exercise, reading, having a morning and/or evening routine, nature walks, yoga, meditation, journaling, cooking, making time for friends, vacationing, and self-advocating are all forms of self-care that help to nurture ourselves at the deepest level.
Constant communication with your partner- Strengthen your relationship with your partner by consistently communicating your wants and needs. Make time for each other with no distractions so you can share how you are feeling. For my husband and I, this meant getting up an hour before work and taking our dog for a walk so we could have a comfortable space to talk and connect.
And Lastly JUST BREATH (ok so that is the 11th tip), take deep breaths regularly throughout the day (try the 4,7,8 method -breath in for four seconds, hold for 7 and out for 8) in order to bring your body back to homeostasis and engage the parasympathetic response (rest and digest). This will keep you out of your head and into the present moment.
Which of these tips do you already practice? Share your best practices below and areas you want to improve on.
