My Story.

I lied about doing IVF for over two years because I was ashamed. Ashamed that my body didn’t work the way others did, that my story didn’t play out as I imagined. I would tell my boss that I had a doctor, dentist, or financial advisor appointment—you name it, I used it! I would get excited when I thought of a new “excuse” that I could use to hide a fertility consultation, IUI treatment, or IVF egg retrieval. 

       During those years of infertility, I lost myself in the emotional roller coaster and became unrecognizable to myself. I felt like I was failing as a woman and constantly felt isolated, anxious, and hopeless.  After three years, when I finally got pregnant with twins through IVF, I told my friends that I had twins in my family (which I do, so I told myself it wasn’t a lie). A few months after the twins were born, we were pleasantly surprised to find out we were pregnant with our son. Consequently, the news helped us conceal our fertility struggles further. I felt so proud of myself for “getting away” with doing IVF without anyone knowing. No one could judge my decisions or my body for not working. 

But I was not only lying to the people who asked about my conception, I was lying to myself. I wanted to be a positive example for my children, the kind of person that stood behind my decisions with pride and conviction, especially when it came to infertility. I never wanted my kids to feel ashamed of how they were conceived, or worse, think that I was. I needed to stand behind my decision and break through the taboo of ART procedures (assisted reproductive treatments). It felt amazing once I let out the words, “I did IVF.” I started to tell everyone-- the doorman, the delivery guy, anyone that would listen! It was the most freeing feeling in the world. Nothing was wrong with me, and I could be proud of my story.  

          Everyone has their own journey when building a family, and each is unique to them. When faced with a nontraditional path to family, we need to unlearn the traditional way of what that is “supposed” to look like. I believe couples who struggle with infertility need resources to understand their options financially, emotionally, and physically. I believe that women do not get the education they truly need on their bodies; how many people can name the four stages of the menstrual cycle? (FYI it is follicular, ovulatory, luteal, and menstruation). How to take your Basal body temperature, and what it tells us about our fertility? How to use an ovulation kit correctly? How to know if you ovulate, and how to tell if you do? Or the right questions to ask your fertility doctor? Or what kinds of assisted reproductive treatments are available to you? The list goes on and on. By removing the stigma of infertility, we can empower each other and fill in the gaps often led by the health care system and our well-intentioned family & friends, many of whom tend to leave us feeling worse, in their desire to be helpful in these tense moments.

          My story may not have played out like I had imagined it would, but it turned out exactly as it was supposed to. While I was struggling, I didn’t know there could be someone to support you through the most isolating, anxious, and uncertain time. My story that I once hid from, has turned into my passion and purpose: to support and empower women to own their unique fertility story and break through the taboo of infertility.

           I have earned my coaching certification through IIIN (Institute of Integrative Nutrition) and can now help guide women struggling with infertility through making the best choices for themselves, informed decisions, working through emotional/financial barriers, lifestyle choices, providing support, positive mindset, and most importantly self-love so you can own your story. 

What is your story? Comment below or send me an email, and let’s support each other through our journeys!