Just stop stressing over it and you will get pregnant…
Probably one of the most irritating things someone can say to you when you are trying to conceive, am I right?! Whenever someone would say this to me, I would nod politely, but inside I was screaming! How can I not be stressed when all I want is a baby!? And worse, every person around me seems to be pregnant or announcing their pregnancy!
When I was trying to conceive, I wish I had known about the research and correlation of meditation & mindfulness with stress reduction so that I could have tried it to stop the continuous rumination in my head. Laurie Santos, a professor at Yale who teaches “The Science of Well-being” course, says research suggests that a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Therefore, learning techniques to quiet the mind is psychologically beneficial.
A study done by Harvard researchers showed people who meditated an average of 27 minutes/day for 8 weeks in a row reduced the production of cortisol, the main stress hormone, & shrank the size of the amygdala, which is responsible for the flight and fight response. Additionally, meditation has been linked to increasing positive moods, cultivating kindness, better decision-making, improved concentration, and more feelings of social connection. So overall, meditation is pretty badass and has many positive side effects, including helping with one of the biggest roadblocks of fertility: managing stress.
Before I tried meditation, it always seemed so intimidating to me and only for people who were super cool and comfortable in their skin…basically not me. I was too self-conscious. But as I started to explore, I did a few headspace apps and then took a course recommended by a friend called Ziva Meditation. It was a great introduction to transcendental meditation, which uses a basic mantra and mindfulness that I now do on my own for 10 minutes daily.
However, you don’t have to take a course to start mediation. In the link below, Dr. Herbert Benson walks you through how to elicit the relaxation response, a technique he developed at Harvard, by choosing any mantra you would like (it can be hope, love, faith, or any word that resonates with you). He walks you through how to start a mindfulness practice to get your body and mind in the present moment here.
Another way to practice mindfulness is by noticing the five senses around you: smell what you smell, see what you see, hear what you hear, taste what you taste, and feel everything at the moment. Notice your surroundings to help immerse you in the present moment. Additionally, breathing is a great practice for achieving mindfulness. Some breathing techniques to try are 2x deep breaths (breathe in for 2 and out for 4, breathe in for 3 and out for 6, etc) or box breathing (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for four, etc.). Once you settle into the present moment, start to repeat the word or phrase you chose over and over and let go of any thoughts that come.
It is normal to have recurring thoughts and to feel funny at first. When you notice a thought entering, gently let it go and return to your mantra. The more you practice, the better you will get and feel more comfortable.
I once heard: we don’t meditate to get good at meditation; we meditate to get good at life. There is no bad meditation. The more we practice to build up our muscles, as we do when we go to the gym, the easier it will get. When we meditate regularly, we change the structure of our brains and get stronger mentally.
Maybe it is no coincidence that meditation and medicine both come from the Latin word mederi, which means to heal. We often overlook the simplest healing or self-care techniques available to us at our fingertips (and for free!). But what if it was that simple?! I urge you to try it! Additionally, there are specific fertility-guided meditations that I have listed on my resource page (you can find them here). Give it a try, or please reach out to me, and I am happy to help guide you in exploring meditation.
What kind of meditation practice works for you? What has been your experience with meditation? Have you ever tried meditation, or does it seem intimidating to you?
If you are looking for inspiration, please check out the below-related articles/Ted talk below.
This Ted Talk brings me to tears every time I watch it. I know it isn’t specific to infertility, but it emphasizes so beautifully how important it is to bring more mindfulness to your life and access our right brains more so we can live in the present moment.
